Episode 25, Part 2: Doug's Dental Disaster

This episode begins in a Smash Adams movie.

After inspecting the statues around a fireplace, Smash Adams finds the hidden door to the secret part of whatever mansion he's in. Then he immediately walks over to that screen and pushes the call button to announce his presence to the villain, Dr. Decay. This is worse than some of Doug's fantasies. This is action movie logic, and Doug recognizes that it is bullshit. Anyway, Doug and Skeeter are apparently seeing this movie for the seventh time when...

Doug gets a sudden pain in his tooth. He runs to the bathroom with a concerned Skeeter following.

After the title screen, we enter Doug's fantasy where he is playing Smash Adams. It parallels the movie, except after he finds the secret doorway in the fireplace, he comes out the other side to find several bad guys to fight off. He loses the fight and the fantasy fades out when one of the bad guys touches his cheek, putting pressure on his bad tooth.

And now we're at the Honkerburger, and Bluffington's future head astronaut is taking a look with a straw and a spoon to give his professional opinion on the matter.

The first thing he says is, "wow! Did you know one of your teeth looks just like my Aunt Mable?" Connie and Patti are extremely interested in this.

They agree. The tooth does look like Skeeter's Aunt Mable.

...

Anyway, Skeeter finally says that he sees a cavity on the problem tooth. Connie immediately brushes it off, because she's the only one in this episode that realizes getting a cavity fixed is no big deal. Patti agrees with her at first, but Doug asks if she's ever had a cavity. She says she hasn't, but if she did she'd be freaking out and scared to go to the dentist. Of course, Captain Rickets overhears and has to put his two cents in.

He does the usual. Try to scare Doug, make up bullshit about whatever's going on (he claims dentists get paid by how many teeth they pull), eavesdrop on private conversations looking for any excuse to talk to Doug, etc. He laughs and walks away.

At home, Doug and Porkchop are brushing their teeth before bed.

There's not much to say here. I just included it because Porkchop is brushing his teeth. Oh, and apparently he was the one that squeezed toothpaste on both toothbrushes. Crazy.

Before bed, Doug has another fantasy where he's playing Smash Adams. In this one, Dr. Decay has Smash Doug strapped in a chair, and responding to "you'll never make me talk," he laughs and says, "Oh, I don't want you to talk, Mr. Adams. I want you to suffer!" This is how Doug sees dentists right now. Psychotic, torturous villains. They do what they do because they are evil.

Anyway, there's a moment in this fantasy I have to share because it's Doug's idea of how x-ray machines work. Dr. Decay walks behind one that's on in his office, possibly explaining his evil, maniacal behavior. With an x-ray machine constantly on, and the frequency he needs to walk behind it to get tools, things are bound to happen. Can't be good for you. Anyway, this is what happens when he walks behind it.

You can see his skeleton just fine. You can also see his boxers, which are blue with white circles. The lead that is apparently in his underpants might also explain his evil, maniacal behavior.

The next day, Doug is sitting on the porch, complaining, when Porkchop brings him an ice pack.

Is there anything this dog can't do? Doug doesn't even use the ice pack. You have wasted your thumbs, dog-servant. Doug decides to ignore the pain until it goes away.

And then he starts talking to Mr. Dink, who can tell right away that Doug has a toothache. Mr. Dink says he used to have them too, but he just ignored them until they went away for good, aka

Doug imagines having Mr. Dink's teeth.

The teeth also make him sound like Dink and laugh like Dink.

So Doug finally decides to go to the dentist. The dentist's office has a really awesome version of Killer Tofu playing. It's the easy listening version, I guess. He's the only one in the waiting room when a woman calls out for Doug Furrie. He starts to follow her to his waiting room where Dr. Kay will work on him, but he sees a vent and has one more Smash Adams fantasy. In this one, he kicks Dr. Decay in the chest...

And then he busts through a vent that leads straight outside. Luckily the exit is right above his convertible, so he lands in it, and drives away.

The fantasy ends with the dentist's assistant putting her hand on Doug's shoulder to wake him from whatever has him paused in the hallway.

So, right before seeing his dentist, Dr. Kay, Doug imagined kicking a villain named Dr. Decay in the chest and escaping. Things are not looking good for this dentist. Doug is sitting in the chair waiting, he's hearing screams from other rooms, and he's getting more and more nervous about it when finally Dr. Kay enters.

He is surprised and immediately relieved of all anxiety. Take that, men and women! First, Doug is completely surprised that a woman is a dentist. So he's sexist. Next, he's completely relieved because clearly a woman would be a better dentist than a man. So he's sexist.

Hmmm.

Anyway, Dr. Kay finishes up and remarks on how well Doug behaved. They hear another scream from the next room and she points out that some people hate going to the dentist, and the screaming guy is just there for a cleaning. Guess who it is...

Of course.

At the end of the episode, as Doug is finishing up his journal entry, he hears Mr. Dink outside. He's lost his teeth apparently.

Just looking where he took them out to show Doug, because you know...if you take out your teeth to show them to someone, you might just drop them on the ground without realizing it and then go about your day. That, or a fucking dog stole them while you weren't watching.

Because he had to incorporate them into his dance routine...

Again, this episode displays Doug's parents' complete lack of involvement in his life. He has a toothache, so his friend inspects it, his weird elderly neighbor gives him shitty advice, and he books his own appointment with the dentist. And goes alone. His parents are never brought into the equation. Poor Doug. Too busy at the department store taking pictures, dad? Too busy doing absolutely nothing at all, mom? Maybe talk to your son every now and then so he doesn't go overboard with the weird delusions of grandeur and persecutory delusions and all the other weird fantasies that aren't easy to classify. Maybe they'd see that he needs help.

The closest thing to a parental figure in this episode is Porkchop. Porkchop gets Doug to brush his teeth. Porkchop brings Doug an icepack. Porkchop steals Mr. Dink's dentures to use them as a prop...well, 2 out of 3 isn't too bad. It certainly beats the nothing that his parents did.