Saturday, March 13, 2010
Episode 10, Part 2; Doug's Doodle
This is Doug as Smash Adams. His sidekick is never given a name. James Bond doesn't have a sidekick dog, and this is a James Bond tribute dammit.
So what is Smash Adams doing? Breaking into the school of course.
Doors on the roof have locks that are easier to pick, plus there's the danger. Why is Doug fantasizing about breaking into the school though? It has something to do with his doodle. This doodle.
Doug drew this in class while Ms. Wingo was getting onto Boomer for reading a comic book and Roger for sleeping. She walked by Doug who hid the drawing in the stack of papers on his desk. Then she told the class to hand in their essays. Everyone groaned but Doug, who said this was his favorite part of the day. Not because he loves essays or homework, but because...
...Patti has to turn around and ask Doug to pass his paper up. Unfortunately, Patti's cleavage distracted Doug and he accidentally turned in the drawing with his essay. Time for Doug to panic.
Nope, it didn't magically teleport under your desk with your RAP Comix, lunch, and bunch of garbage. What the fuck, Doug? How is it this messy under your desk? When Ms. Wingo collects the stack of papers from his row, he can see part of the drawing and knows he's dead as soon as she sees it. Fantasy time.
Awwww. The family is having a nice dinner. Doug's mom asks if he had a nice day and he gives a shit answer, making her suspicious. She asks if something happened at school, then someone knocks on the door. Doug jumps up and says he'll get it. Who could it be?
Oh my god, how horrifying! Ms. Wingo has turned into Doug's drawing, and is crying about his opinion of her looks! Quick, slam the door. Maybe she'll go away!
And fade to reality...
Doug chews his pencil in half. Then we get this amazing shot as Doug thinks about his current situation. This is probably the best look at the world through Doug's eyes...
Probably the best shot in the series. It pans in front of, and over, and behind Doug while the background colors shift and eventually form reality. Doug is so crazy, everything else becomes a color blur while he dwells on some minor problem. Can we medicate this kid yet?
So then Ms. Wingo holds up a paper and starts to ask who did it. Doug immediately confesses and kind of cries about it.
Ms. Wingo responds, "Your paper is 'My First Pair of High Heels?' Your name's not on it." Beebe takes the credit for that one as the class laughs and Doug takes a deep breath. This is when he gets his first brilliant idea. The window!
This fantasy is almost exactly what happened. Doug opened the window and a huge gust of wind formed a tornado that picked up all the paper in the room, which allowed Doug to find the doodle and tear it up. And then the tornado shot the rest of the paper out of the room as Doug closed the window to applause from the class.
Just kidding. None of that shit happened. Doug didn't even make it to the window. He stepped on Roger's foot, who retaliated by stepping on Doug's foot who's scream alerted Ms. Wingo to the fact that Doug wasn't in his seat.
Then Doug sees a picture on the wall.
And his desk morphs into stocks as he imagines he's being called a doodling witch by what looks like pilgrim versions of his classmates.
This fades out to reveal Doug is still acting it out...
Then he notices that Boomer is reading a Smash Adams comic...
He imagines what Smash Adams would do in this situation, and his fantasy picks up where it left off at the beginning. Doug/Smash Adams and Porkchop/Porkchop crash through a window on the second floor of the school and fight off two janitors to retrieve the doodle. "Whoa, seemed like an awful lot of work" is exactly what Doug thought about that; Climbing and fighting to get a doodle she's about to see any second now. Surely Smash Adams has more tricks up his sleeve...
Ah, yes. Smash would just seduce the woman to distract her. Guess which Smash Adams scheme 11 year old Doug tries.
He compliments her hair, and sits on her desk knocking some of the papers to the floor revealing the doodle clear for Ms. Wingo to see. This is what happens when you try to seduce your elderly teacher, Doug. Should've gone for that option where you fought two janitors.
She wants to know who drew it. Everyone in class laughs, but Boomer laughs the loudest. She takes this as a sort of confession and tells him to stay after school. He tries to protest but she won't hear it. Relieved, Doug takes his seat and thinks about how great it is that he wasn't caught. Then he sees Boomer looking like his puppy just got diagnosed with cancer and wonders what will happen to him. He hopes he won't have to go see the assistant principal about his doodle. And here we get another Smash Adams/Doug Funnie freak out.
Mr. Bonefinger is being pretty tough with Boomer, which causes Smash Adams to run in there and say, "I'm the guy you want!" And fantasy fades out...
"What did you say, Doug?"
"I said...I did the drawing."
Once again Doug's fantasy carried over into reality and we're expected to see Doug as a normal kid.
After class, Ms. Wingo calls Doug up to her desk where she shows him her collection.
Chalky's dad drew one. Mr. Dink drew one. And if Doug would sign his, she could add it to the collection. Delighted, he signs it and starts to leave. Then she tells him he has to clean all the desks.
Now that everything's fine, Doug still manages to escape into fantasy, where the desk he's in morphs into a car and he crashes through a wall.
So yeah, this whole episode covers about 10 minutes of Doug's life and features more psychotic freak outs than most episodes. Most episodes also cover at least a day of Doug's life. This whole episode was basically real time from Doug turning in his paper to his confession. It is perhaps the best example of how crazy Doug really is. He gets so nervous he sometimes chews through pencils. He often sees the world as a swirl of abstract color. He often imagines himself as someone else. He fears his peers are going to crucify him for practically nothing. He thinks wind has magical powers. And he considers seducing an elderly woman (she taught his classmate's father, and the creepy old man that lives next door to him, for fuck's sake) preferable because the only other option he considered was totally ridiculous and implausible. To Doug, he either had to seduce her, or come back at night, after she had already seen the doodle (remember, she was grading them during class and was getting to it any minute) and break in to retrieve it, which meant he'd have to scale the wall, smash through a window, and fight 2 janitors. Both of these options are insane, but one of them is more insane. Why is Doug's thought process so broken? He at least has a good sense of right and wrong, but his perception of reality is so fucked it really is pretty troubling.