Episode 3, Part 2: Doug's Big Nose

Attention everybody! Tomorrow everyone will have their pictures taken for photo-swap day!

Look at the joy on their faces. Skeeter is my favorite. I appreciate seeing Roger this happy too, but Skeeter really looks like he's in a commercial for heaven. Doug's happiness is confusing because he immediately asks Skeeter what photo-swap day is. Look how happy he is. He just heard he's getting his picture taken for something that he is going to fret about the entire episode. Here's a nice shot of Skeeter explaining photo-swap day. There's no need for it here, I just like the angle and think it's a surprisingly cool shot for a show like this.

The whole idea of photo-swap day is appealing to Doug simply because he wants a picture of Patti. Skeeter says her pictures are hard to get because everyone wants one. So naturally Doug imagines that she gives all of her pictures to him while everyone begs her for one. She remarks that he'll have one for every day of the year, which begs the question...why does Doug think Patti would think he'd need 365 copies of the same photo? He clearly thinks she thinks he's so pathetic that he would ruin a copy a day from all the possible uses an 11 year old boy could have for a photo of his crush.

Anyway, Doug, Skeeter and Porkchop go pick up Skeeter's little brother Dale from his day care. Look at him there. Cute little blue kid in a huge purple sweater. You might remember he keeps saying "yum yum eat em up" because the Valentines watch a shitload of old Little Rascals. Dale is the cause of Doug's problems this time around. Upon first meeting Doug, Dale (Skeeter very recently remarked that Dale hasn't spoken an entire sentence yet) points at Doug and says, "big nose!" And with the innocent remarks of a child that cannot yet form sentences, Doug is spun for such an emotional loop that it literally knocks him to the ground.

Devastating.

This episode contains the usual taunts from Roger Rickets that don't need to be detailed here. Some trigger Doug's fantasies like normal, but most of the time it's just calling him names like Pinocchio or Schnoz or some stupid bullshit.

One of Doug's fantasies starts as he's worrying about how long he's had such a big nose, and why no one ever told him. He thinks maybe he's always had a huge nose and it has been absolutely terrifying his entire life. He imagines being pushed along in a stroller, and two cliche women start going baby crazy because women can't resist looking at babies, until they pull back his blanket and see the horror hidden within...

The women run away screaming in horror.

Taking a page right out of the Jack Bandit book from the Doug Gets Busted episode, Doug wears something ridiculous to school to try to make his nose look smaller.

Only a crazy person would dress like this. "My nose is big, but if I make absolutely everything else about my appearance completely ridiculous, no one will notice my nose." In the bathroom, he realizes this won't work, takes it off, and decides he won't have his picture taken.

So Doug has a few more fantasies before he relents and gets his picture taken. First, he imagines his nose keeps growing, which causes him great embarrassment at his graduation...

Then he imagines giving his picture to Patti, and absurdity occurs...

The nose in his picture literally punches her in the chin, then she runs off screaming about how his nose poked her eye out. Call an ambulance!

While admiring his nose in the reflection on a window, Doug begins to see the people that have taunted his nose...

Dale and Roger, of course, actually taunted him. Here Patti taunts him about something that happened in a fantasy. The imaginary reflections disappear to reveal that Patti is actually standing there trying to get his attention. After a bunch of stupid dialog, she convinces Doug his nose gives him "true character" and to get his picture taken.

So his picture comes out great. Photo-swap day comes. Roger calls Skeeter "skeet-face." Doug gives Patti a photo. Patti gives Doug a photo. And all that drama occurred in Doug's mind because a child that can barely talk pointed out a feature in his face that he had never even considered before. Sane? No.