Episode 44, Part 1: Doug En Vogue

Doug is thinking about fashion. Some people are really into it. He just wears the same old clothes.

These three are reading Teen Fad. Doug asks, "whatcha reading?" because he's nice and shows interest in others. Beebe replies, "Teen Fad magazine. Nothing you'd be interested in," because she doesn't like nosy kids ruining her magazine time with her friends. Doug wonders what it would be like to be a trend-setter. Doug says he'd like to be like Dylan Farnum. He's the trend-setter from a popular television show. Before Doug tells us the name of the show, some girl we've never seen before yells from her house, "HEY, EVERYONE! TEEN HEART STREET IS ON!" Everyone in the park runs home, Doug included.

Judy catches Doug watching it while eating one of the two bowls of popcorn he made. She calls it trash and mocks him for watching it. In the show, two girls have a quick argument that leaves one of them crying alone in a high school hallway. Judy keeps criticizing the show, and when she says that Dylan Farnum has no taste, he walks onscreen to comfort the crying girl.

"I rest my case."

Please note the school's water fountain has an ice machine and cups. All the schools I went to only had water fountains with discarded chewing gum or trash in them. I feel cheated.

Obviously Doug notices Dylan Farnum is wearing the same clothes he always wears. He immediately jumps to the conclusion that he is a trend-setter and has a fantasy.

In the fantasy, a woman sitting on a round bed with "Shack De Chic" on the wall behind her says, "fashion flash!" She then starts talking about a new popular look. This is another tv show fantasy for Doug. The woman says everyone is wearing this new look, from the fashion shows...

...to the hottest downtown club! I like Doug's idea that runway models all wear the same outfits. Like they're just a showcase of what one outfit looks like on several people. There's a few clips of various people wearing Doug's trademark clothes. The show's host gives us a look into the trend-setter that started the whole thing.

After walking by these guys, Chalky says hey to Doug and Beebe tells him he's looking good. The show's host calls Doug the "King of Style" and the fantasy ends.

Doug says he's not going to say anything about it. He's just going to wait for people to notice. As he's walking into school, he walks past the goons. They are dressed like him. Chalky says, "hey, Doug." Beebe says, "looking good!"

It's exactly like his fantasy. Doug pauses a moment and says, "this is weird." Yes it is, Doug. He goes to the goons and brings up Teen Heart Street. Chalky walks over and says, "I see you're wearing the Dylan Farnum look."

"What do you mean 'the Dylan Farnum look?'"

He points out that this is what he always wears and no one believes him.

In Phys Ed, Doug and Patti are playing 1-on-1 basketball, because the rest of the class is...? I don't know where they are. Doug couldn't be bothered to let us know why they have the entire gym to themselves. Patti tells Doug it's a good look for him and he gets a little upset. It's not a look for him. It's just how he always dresses. She says, "if you say so, Doug."

He looks depressed here because she is kicking his ass. Also, she hasn't noticed that he wears the same shit every day. He probably thinks this means she doesn't like him that much, but he doesn't realize that it just means she hasn't noticed what a weird knob he is yet.

After phys ed, Doug complains about this to Skeeter. Skeeter also didn't notice that Doug always wears the same clothes. He claims he doesn't really pay attention to that stuff.

After school, Doug has invited Larry, Skeeter, Beebe, Chalky, Connie, Patti, Boomer and Roger over to his house to prove to them that he's always worn the Dylan Farnum look.

Roger's bones seem to have recovered enough for him to finally wear shorts comfortably. So, with everyone growing impatient, Doug finally reveals his proof.

Without the pointer, none of these idiots would know where to look to see the proof. Beebe is thoroughly annoyed that Doug dragged them over to his house to show off his Dylan Farnum collection. It's not clear why he thought this was incontrovertible proof instead of photographs. Where would Doug ever get pictures of himself anyway? I bet his dad might know.

Everyone leaves his room. Most of them don't say anything. Connie says he doesn't have to dress like Dylan Farnum every day. Doug is more annoyed than ever because now he thinks everyone thinks he's just trying to be Dylan Farnum.

Of course, this leads to a fantasy. In the fantasy, Connie drops a book she's trying to get out of her locker and says, "oh, shoot!" Doug walks over, puts his arm around her and asks if she's okay. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

She screams and yells, "Patti help!" Patti walks over and Connie tells her Doug's acting weird again. Patti tells her to just ignore him because he thinks he's Dylan Farnum. They walk off, leaving Doug alone.

But he continues talking to Connie as if he's still got his arm around her. As if that wasn't crazy enough, the camera pulls out to reveal that Doug is now just Dylan Farnum's puppet.

What? This has to be one of his craziest fantasies.

Tired of people thinking he's trying to be Dylan Farnum, Doug decides it's time for some new clothes. At the store, the salesman makes him try on the hippie look.

Doug says his dad used to wear this. It isn't original. Next up? The rap look!

If I was a rapper, I'd absolutely wear a big medallion that simply said "rap" on it. Doug says he doesn't want to look like a rap star. He wants to look different. That's when the salesman busts out the disco look.

As you can see, Doug is not pleased. It's amazing that he got as far as putting on each outfit entirely before he expressed his distaste for them. Two other salesmen come over and start arguing with the first salesman about what Doug should get until he finally walks away from them, right into another man that promises to solve his problem. Doug just has to answer a few questions.

"Do you like the mountains or the beach?"
"Both."
"Have you ever jaywalked?"
"I guess so."
"Would you say you are easy to love?"
"What?"
"What would you do if you had a million dollars?"
"But I haven't answered your last question yet."

Luckily, this guy is actually trying to suggest clothes for Doug, and the creepy overtones of the last two questions are nothing to worry about. The guy suggests the Dylan Farnum look. Frustrated with everyone in the store, he grabs the three outfits he tried on and leaves.

In the park, Doug is wearing his new look while kicking a soccer ball at a fence.

He's angrily saying,  "take that, Dylan Farnum! You and your stupid look!" Oh, here's the fence he's kicking the ball at.

Not crazy.

Judy comes over to tell him dinner is ready. She asks, "why are you dressed like that?"

"I just wanted to wear something nobody ever wore before so nobody could say I was copying anything."

Judy says, "I hate to disappoint you, but they call it the schizo look."

How appropriate. Doug takes this news very poorly. He throws a tantrum, kicking and hitting the ground while screaming and yelling, "I give up!"

Crazy.

Judy asks him why he cares so much. He says it's because he didn't copy anyone! She asks him if he really thinks he's the only person in the world that ever wore a green vest. We're all copying someone. No one else gives a shit though. Doug gets it. Finally.

The next day at school, Doug proudly walks up to the front doors and gets everyone's attention. He makes an important announcement that he's wearing his regular clothes, and if that means everyone thinks he's trendy, then that's just the way it is. Annoyed, Beebe asks him what he's talking about. He's wearing last week's look!

It's hard to imagine he didn't immediately notice that people had stopped dressing like him, but once they pointed it out to him, he jumps for joy. It's ridiculous.

Ok, so to recap, literally everyone everywhere is being trendy, but Doug hates the idea of being trendy and doesn't want anyone to think he's a trendy douchebag. Is there anyone Doug likes or is it only stupid for him to be trendy? It's okay for everyone else, but Doug is better than them? They should know that Dylan Farnum stole that look from him. He wore it first! He is the trend-setter! Not a follower! I'm sure he'll feel the same way about Dylan Farnum stealing Skeeter's look too, though I'm guessing that's an embellishment by Doug to make it look like the producers of Teen Heart Street are spying on his school. Because Doug is a paranoid schizophrenic.