Episode 2: Doug Can't Dance

"Dear diary, it's me, Doug," is how he decides to open this entry into his journal. As if he's going to look back at this entry years from now and thank himself for making a note of who wrote this entry. Anyway, this is the first half of the second episode, and his fantasies are surprisingly few. Our first scene from that day's events features Roger busting into Doug's home to scare him about the dance.

His vitamin deficiency is really getting out of control.

Roger scares him about the dance by pointing out that he's paired of with Patti Mayonnaise, the best dancer in the school. At first Doug was like...

Then he was like...

...because Roger questioned his dancing abilities.

I feel like I should mention Doug's outfit. Apparently this is some sort of costume dance. There's no mention of Halloween or anything (though there are pumpkins in hay in the entrance to the dance. Is it Halloween but no one feels the need to point it out?); there's just a costume dance at school chaperoned by Mr. Dink in a chicken costume.

So then Doug consults Skeeter, who is to be the DJ for this costume dance party at the school. Here we have Skeeter trying to teach Doug how to dance, which he defines as "just moving around without going anywhere." His demonstration ends badly and he finger walks away. HONK HONK!

Finally, when Doug gets to the dance, he has another fantasy. One where he is a great dancer. One of the greatest dancers of all time. He is an obvious MC Hammer reference!

See Patti's face up there? That's when reality starts to kick back in. Patti has walked up on Doug while he has been fantasizing about wearing parachute pants, completely unaware of his surroundings. When he realizes she's actually talking to him, he falls on his ass.

"Doug? Doug? Are you okay?"

"...yeah..."

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, uh...just thinking."

Sorry, Doug. Only crazy people fall on their ass because they thought they were dancing in some clouds before someone interrupted them.

Anyway, so the dance goes fine. Patti gets him dancing and they're having a great time. Patti is (apparently) the only one who knew that Doug's costume was a slug; other suggestions were: godzilla, a prune, a pile of manure, and a sack of dirty socks. Other costumes at the dance include: a hammer (Roger), a screw, a screwdriver, a saw, a pencil, a hotdog, Mickey Mouse, Rudolph, a superhero with a Q on his shirt, an astronaut and a donut. Yes, this little girl pulled off the impossible and dressed as a donut.

It must've hurt like hell when she cut off her torso.

Roger, unhappy with his failure to scare Doug away, decided to pull a prank. When trying to put a bunch of ice down Doug's back, he slipped and the head of his hammer costume smashed Doug's foot. Doug hopped with pain. That was enough for both of them to be convinced that Doug can't dance. Roger laughs and Doug panics.

Only in Doug's mind could he be the loser here. Roger is the one that failed at the simple task of walking while holding something. Only in Doug's mind is being injured inexcusable when it comes to dancing ability. "What? Your foot hurts through no fault of your own? WHAT A BAD DANCER!"

Oh wait, I guess Patti thinks so too. She saves the day by pretending that what Doug is doing is a new dance. She calls it the flub hop. Everyone joins in, even Mr. Dink. Way to go, Patti. You saved Doug the embarrassment of everyone knowing what it looks like when your toenails fall off. Now everyone thinks he's just a great, innovative dancer, instead of a retard who doesn't know how to avoid incompetent twats in hammer costumes who fall and smash feet.