"I die!" She falls over, rolls back, then stands up to proclaim that she is reborn as a butterfly.
This could go on for the entirety of the show and I'd be happy, but just as Judy's butterfly begins to enjoy being free, a giant fly swatter slams down upon her.
Have you ever used a fly swatter on a butterfly? There are many logical problems with this short dramatic piece that Judy has prepared for her Vole University audition. It just doesn't make any sense from start to finish, and there's a huge safety concern with the giant fly swatter.
Judy's pretentious friends applaud her eggy butterfly nonsense. Sincerity suggests it might take more than an egg to get into Vole University. Judy laughs at the idea and reassures her that they'll be begging her to enroll at the university after her audition, then floats the idea that they might rename the school to Judy University. Sincerity reminds her how few applicants are accepted, and Cassius says they only admitted half of one person last year. Cassius lists off a few other schools he's applied to, and another student says she also applied to several schools. Sincerity asks Judy where else she's applied, but Judy scoffs at the idea. She has only applied to Vole. They are shocked, and as she picks up her egg prop, she says, "only at Vole can I truly express my wings and be free!" Before one of her friends can make the obvious comment about putting all your eggs in one basket, Flounder's former bandmates (now janitors apparently) open a door, allowing a huge gust of wind to blow Judy across the room.
This episode isn't all about Judy. Doug's doing something too. He's entered a comic contest and he's waiting to hear if he won.
Winner gets a trip to A.C. Comics and lunch with Stanley Steele, creator of Man O Steel Man. Doug asks his comic shop owner if he's heard anything about the contest results.
Apparently Doug has been asking every day. Mr. Sully seems kind of annoyed with him and asks if he's checked his mailbox. Doug says he's checked it twice a day. Doug imagines how lunch with Stanley Steele could be the beginning of his comic book career.
In Doug's fantasy, he shares a small studio with Stanley Steele. Stanley Steele has writer's block and is swiftly slipping into despair. He just can't figure out what to make Man O Steel Man do next.
Doug suggests, "why don't you have Man o Steel Man vanquish an evil-doer!?"
Stanley Steele is grateful for such a terrific idea. The Man O Steel Man cover Stanley was working on when he practically gave up on life starts moving. Man O Steel Man gives Doug a thumbs up and says, "you're the greatest, Doug!"
After this bit of delusions of grandeur, Doug wishes the letter would come, then says, "unless they think I'm not good enough." He often operates between being the greatest hero the world has ever known and the biggest nobody loser who should just give up every endeavor because he sucks.
At home, Judy is packing for her weekend trip to Vole University. Doug points out that she has over-packed. She's basically packed up her entire room.
Judy isn't worried about carrying too much since she'll have the whole car to herself. She's going to Vole. Doug is staying at Skeeter's. Their parents are flying out to Grandma Opal's. Why this set up? Why are Phil and Theda visiting a grandmother but not taking any of the grandchildren? Should we worry about Grandma Opal?
Anyway, Judy is so certain she'll be accepted into Vole University, she's packing everything. Apparently, she won't need to come home. She'll get accepted and move into her dorm right away and I guess Phil or Theda can collect their car sometime later. Theda interrupts the packing to announce a slight change of plans.
Skeeter's little brother has chicken pox so Doug can't stay there. Doug now has to go with Judy. Again, we don't find out why he can't just go with his parents to visit his grandmother.
Nobody is happy. Judy explains that she's staying in the girls' dorms. Theda says she's already called ahead and arranged a room for Doug. Judy says that Vole is a place for artistes. Doug says he can't go because he needs to be nearby so he can check the mail to see if he won the contest.
Theda also mentions that they have to take Porkchop too.
Judy quickly adapts to the situation by making Doug and Porkchop act as her personal assistants, then commands them to load her stuff into the car.
Judy finishes preparation by grabbing her latest poems off the kitchen table, not noticing one of Doug's drawings has somehow found its way into the stack.
On the way to Vole University, Judy rambles on and on in a rather pretentious manner that distracts her from the road.
Luckily she doesn't wreck the car and kill someone. She just misses the exit.
Doug carries her egg into the audition theater and then wanders off on his own. After taking Judy's crap up to her dorm, Doug finds a nice place to draw while his dog reads the Vole University course catalog.
A student approaches Doug and compliments his art. He asks if Doug is a child prodigy applying to Vole.
Doug explains that he's with his sister while she auditions. The student says Doug's comic style reminds him of Stanley Steele's early stuff. Doug has made a friend.
The guy explains that comics are the reason he became an art major. The guy has to leave for a class, but promises to catch up with Doug later. Doug excitedly turns to Porkchop to talk about the exchange, but Porkchop has disappeared. Apparently Porkchop found something in the Vole University course book that caught his eye.
At Judy's audition, the judges are thoroughly jaded. Judy tries to present her latest poems and other bullshit, but the dean has no patience for it. He just wants her to begin so it can be over.
Inside the egg, Judy says, "I am born."
Before the egg hatches, the dean says, "thank you, Miss Funnie. We'll be in touch. Next."
On her way out of the audition, she bumps into another egg.
Apparently this is going to be a theme.
Doug is quietly drawing in the dorm when Judy kicks the door in, obviously upset. She paces around the room, ranting about how they don't know true artistic talent when they see it.
And this is the part where Doug has to console his rude, pretentious, sometimes helpful, sometimes unhelpful, older sister. While she's moaning about how she barely got three words out, Doug has to suggest that maybe they really liked those three words.
Judy starts to wonder if she's as good as she thinks she is. Judy asks how she'll ever face her friends if she doesn't get accepted to Vole. Doug asks about the other schools she applied to and she tells him she didn't apply to other schools because Vole means everything to her.
Then this woman knocks on the open door to interrupt, making me wonder if she was standing there the whole time Judy had a minor breakdown. Anyway, the dean wants to see Judy in his office and congratulations for being accepted to Vole University.
So Judy is back in front of the audition people.
The dean says, "despite your audition, we knew you belonged at Vole when we saw your portfolio. Very impressive artwork."
"Highly original. A bold statement. It has that primitive rough-hewn look that's reminiscent of Stanley Steele, one of our illustrious alumni, yet has its own unique character."
Judy starts to tell them that isn't her artwork, but the dean interrupts her to say she can major in art and minor in acting. Now that he's through interrupting her, he wants her to finish what she was saying. Instead, she has a fantasy. Her high school friends are accepting awards.
They all thank the schools they attended, then wonder what became of Judy.
I would watch this act and throw a couple bucks or maybe a can of tuna into the hat.
After the fantasy, she finishes what she was saying by changing it to, "that's not my best work." The dean takes this for modesty (ignoring the preposterous idea that an applicant wouldn't bring their best work (although she didn't look over her submission to make sure she brought the right pages anyway...) ), then invites her to demonstrate her drawing technique to his senior design class. She's glad to do it, sometime in the fall after she's enrolled. He means 30 minutes from now. He has a weekend seminar.
Doug is wandering around campus looking for Porkchop when Judy finds him.
Judy doesn't give a shit that Porkchop is missing. She needs Doug and drags him away. She shoves him into a supply closet, telling him not to ask questions. She tells him to just wait there.
He says, "sure, Judy. Always glad to help."
The dean introduces her to his seminar and sets her loose on a pretentious, improvised, pretentious speech about art.
A student interrupts her to ask for a demonstration of her technique. Judy tries to stall, but the dean hands her a pencil. She tears off a sheet of paper then leaves the room. In the closet, Doug asks, "how is my sitting in the closet helping you?"
Judy makes him draw something. He draws Quaildog punching an ionic column in half (presumably from the Quailman vs. Greek Architecture issue we've all heard so much about). Judy presents it to the class to a polite round of applause.
The dean starts to ask why she left the room but she cuts him off to explain she needed the "singularity of my aloneness." He rightly points out that she went out into a busy hallway, so she says something about the fluorescent lighting and leaves it at that.
Back in the closet, Doug hears Porkchop. He leaves the closet to try to find his missing dog, which he should really be more worried about anyway but Judy needs him to sit in a closet and that's fucking important goddammit leave him alone! He finds Porkchop in a cooking class pretty quickly.
Before Doug can think about returning to the closet, the student he met earlier approaches him with some more Stanley Steele fans. Doug is happy to meet them. They invite Doug to work on a sci-fi mural they're working on and he's fucking excited about this obviously awesome as fuck opportunity so fuck the closet.
Back at Judy's seminar, she's prattling on pretentiously when she's asked for another demonstration. She runs back to the closet to find it Dougless.
No matter.
Everyone is understandably confused, so she explains that this is an example of what an amateur artist might create. This is somehow revelatory to the senior students at the seminar.
Meanwhile, Doug is having the fucking time of his life.
Doug finally knows more than ever that this is what he wants to do with his life. So he calls Skeeter to have him check the mail to see if he won the contest.
Sadly, Doug didn't win the contest. While still on the phone with Skeeter, Doug imagines his career in comics now. He's just counting boxes at the shipping facility.
At the end of the day, Stanley Steele approaches him, criticizes the way he makes check marks, and fires him. After the fantasy, Skeeter is shouting into the phone, trying to get Doug's attention.
Back in the dorm, Judy is being smug about her new admirers while Doug is miserable.
Judy tries to reassure him that, since it was just a silly comic book contest, what do they know anyway? Doug tells her to forget it because he doesn't have any talent. She sees the drawing he did earlier and says he has talent. She's genuinely helpful as she tells him that it's not important what other people say about your talent. Even if no one else believes in you, you have to believe in yourself. Doug points out she didn't believe in herself when she didn't think she was accepted into Vole University. She says, "that's different...no. You're right. I let those judges rob me of my self-confidence. I almost let the steal my belief in my own talent. And no one should trifle with another person's talent, it's...oh...come on..."
She drags Doug back to the audition room. Another egg act is ending as they walk in.
Judy confesses to Doug that she was only accepted into Vole because of his art.
She has Doug draw something to prove that he's the artist behind the picture she accidentally submitted with her application.
The dean asks why she came forward with the truth now. She says Doug was feeling bad as an artist and she was feeling bad for getting in under false pretenses. He says this shows great integrity on her part. She asks if that means they'll still let her in, and he says no. Doug defends her, saying they never gave her a proper chance. They only let her get out three words.
Doug does a great, practical demonstration, asking, "how great would my drawings be if you just let me draw three lines?"
The dean admits that maybe they were unfair to Judy, but they've seen so many eggs....
So he lets Judy perform again, and guarantees that she can perform the whole piece.
The judges confer and tell Judy that her brother was right. She's good and the piece was very pretentious.
So, Judy is going to Vole University. The dean asks Doug to promise he'll consider coming to Vole when he turns 18. Doug agrees, but can I go ahead and predict that this pretentious trio will reject him when he applies for any number of reasons? Most likely, they'll call his work derivative. Either way, he'll get accepted or he won't and it ultimately won't matter because he'll do comics. Or maybe he'll create a TV show about his childhood.
So, Judy, Doug, and Porkchop are finally leaving. They are such big personalities, they have a crowd hanging around to send them off.
The art student Doug befriended thanks Doug for the sketch.
On the way home, Judy prattles on incessantly, pretentiously, about how talented she is.
The episode ends with the gag where she misses her exit because she's so engrossed in her one-sided conversation with Doug about herself.
What's going on with Grandma Opal?
